So the rest of the day wasn't any better than the first part of the day.
I worked somewhat in sweats all day, no shower, no massage, no one to bring me lunch. I got so hungry but I decided to not eat because of the great dinner my husband planned for me.
Bipolar Sis in law 2 said she would babysit with the help of Sis in Law 1, but Sis in Law 1 had to go to yoga so she would come over later. Sis in law 2 arrives. Asks where the ice cream is, ate half of the container, then laid down in the Zero Gravity recliner, covered herself with a blanket and went to sleep.
Wait! I thought she was babysitting?
Kids are fighting, punching, kicking and yelling. Husband comes home a bit early (20 minutes) because it's my birthday. HE goes and takes a shower. I referee. Sis in law sleeps. After Husband's shower, he retreats to the bathroom for a 30 minute sojurn with reading material. I am still referee-ing. After he comes out, I notice that he has dressed up. He is wearing a polo, rumpled shorts, his jolly roger belt, and flip flops. Guess we're not going anywhere fancy.
At this point, I showered. Put on my nice jeans, a new shirt, dangly earrings, and did my make-up, hair, etc. I want to look nice on my own birthday.
"Where are we going?" Husband asks. HUH? I am planning this?
I guess so. I decide on a restaurant on John's Island, about 30 minutes away. Heard it was good.
Sis in Law 2 is still sleeping so I call Sis in Law 1 and tell her to come over because no one is going to watch these kids. We wait til she finishes yoga, goes home to shower, and comes over.
I open my gifts. A painting, a watch (I love both), and a vintage cookie tin. Also, a recycled teddy bear and a note from the girls.
We leave and drive to the restaurant. Husband skulks behind while I go in an get a table. It was a table in the middle of the restaurant where I got the waiter's butt in my plate while he is taking an order from the table next to us. The table wobbles. I have to hold my foot on the bottom to keep it steady all night. Food was good. Bill comes, I pay.
We go home. Husband is "bloated." He goes back into the bathroom for an extended time.
I get in bed and read my book "Bitter Harvest" about a wife who poisons her husband and burns down her house. I go to sleep before husband comes to bed.
It's over. Can't wait 'til next year!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Part I
This year it's gonna be a real throw down.
All the family is out of town enjoying the labor day holiday. I am stuck here, in town, working on Diva 1's science project. Here are all the great ways I am celebrating the day before my birthday and the actual birthday day itself (birthdays get dragged out around our house, that is, everyone's except mine).
Day before birthday:
1. Was called a "sour bitch" before noon because husband was still in bed at 11:00 am and I said "when are you getting up, lazybones?"
2. We had a power outage for 5 hours in the morning because of a storm. Husband says"I am so used to utilities being turned off around here, it probably did get cut off". He makes me get up and call the power company.
3. I did 5 loads of laundry, and ironed at least 10 shirts and pants.
4. I made everyone breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, grits, coffee and juice.
5. Helped Diva 1's with her science project, "My Summer" essay, reading log, and spelling.
6. Planted a tea olive tree in the back yard.
7. Got into the vodka at 4:45 pm.
8. No one planned dinner, so husband grilled hot dogs (at least they were kosher and we had dijon mustard). Sis in Law 1 and 2 come over. Sis in Law 2 is bipolar and she didn't eat because she is fasting and praying to release the devil that lives on her back. So she just watched.
9. Diva 1 gets a fever.
10. Both Diva 1 & 2 come downstairs at 2:22 am and can't sleep. I go upstairs with them and sleep with both of them in a 7/8 bed (a bit bigger than a single, but smaller than a double.)
Birthday Day
1. Diva 1 still has a fever so she stays home, which means I have to stay home.
2. Diva 2 cries all the way to school because she is scared to walk in by herself.
3. Dog throws up in the living room and Diva 1 steps in it.
4. I am working on my 3rd load of laundry and trying to work at my business which supports this whole family.
4. The Happy Birthdays wishes I've gotten so far today are from the guy I bought some life insurance from and the car dealer where I got my car (pre-recorded).
Diva 1 is home and digging into everything and it's only 12:45 pm. I am sure the rest of the day will bring some other interesting stuff which I will post in Part II.
All the family is out of town enjoying the labor day holiday. I am stuck here, in town, working on Diva 1's science project. Here are all the great ways I am celebrating the day before my birthday and the actual birthday day itself (birthdays get dragged out around our house, that is, everyone's except mine).
Day before birthday:
1. Was called a "sour bitch" before noon because husband was still in bed at 11:00 am and I said "when are you getting up, lazybones?"
2. We had a power outage for 5 hours in the morning because of a storm. Husband says"I am so used to utilities being turned off around here, it probably did get cut off". He makes me get up and call the power company.
3. I did 5 loads of laundry, and ironed at least 10 shirts and pants.
4. I made everyone breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, grits, coffee and juice.
5. Helped Diva 1's with her science project, "My Summer" essay, reading log, and spelling.
6. Planted a tea olive tree in the back yard.
7. Got into the vodka at 4:45 pm.
8. No one planned dinner, so husband grilled hot dogs (at least they were kosher and we had dijon mustard). Sis in Law 1 and 2 come over. Sis in Law 2 is bipolar and she didn't eat because she is fasting and praying to release the devil that lives on her back. So she just watched.
9. Diva 1 gets a fever.
10. Both Diva 1 & 2 come downstairs at 2:22 am and can't sleep. I go upstairs with them and sleep with both of them in a 7/8 bed (a bit bigger than a single, but smaller than a double.)
Birthday Day
1. Diva 1 still has a fever so she stays home, which means I have to stay home.
2. Diva 2 cries all the way to school because she is scared to walk in by herself.
3. Dog throws up in the living room and Diva 1 steps in it.
4. I am working on my 3rd load of laundry and trying to work at my business which supports this whole family.
4. The Happy Birthdays wishes I've gotten so far today are from the guy I bought some life insurance from and the car dealer where I got my car (pre-recorded).
Diva 1 is home and digging into everything and it's only 12:45 pm. I am sure the rest of the day will bring some other interesting stuff which I will post in Part II.
Grease Fire
Never mind that I made a delicious Sunday dinner of baby back ribs, home made macaroni and cheese, fresh salad with Amish blue cheese crumbles, and a delightful syrah. Never mind that I was feeling accommodating and invited sister-in-law over. And never mind that he had a wonderful baby back rib lunch for two days.
All that matters is when I preheated the oven several nights later, there were some drippings from the ribs in the bottom of the oven that caught on fire. Yes, it did smoke up the kitchen and set the smoke detector off (which was easily turned off with a little fanning), and yes, it burned a little piece of the oven bake element off (which I am replacing through a call to GE).
For all of that I am a "dumbass" that "doesn't think", and am incapable of "doing anything right." Sorry, but my OCD tendencies aren't as finely honed as his. If all I had to do was go to work, I am sure I'd be much more tuned in.
All that matters is when I preheated the oven several nights later, there were some drippings from the ribs in the bottom of the oven that caught on fire. Yes, it did smoke up the kitchen and set the smoke detector off (which was easily turned off with a little fanning), and yes, it burned a little piece of the oven bake element off (which I am replacing through a call to GE).
For all of that I am a "dumbass" that "doesn't think", and am incapable of "doing anything right." Sorry, but my OCD tendencies aren't as finely honed as his. If all I had to do was go to work, I am sure I'd be much more tuned in.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Why can't I control my life?
I haven't posted in awhile. Now I understand about blogs that don't get updated. I'm chalking mine up to pure chaos.
Divas started school the other day. One in kindergarten, the other in third grade. Third grade diva just transferred to a new school so she could be with her sister. She is a bit unhappy because it's only been two days and she is already being picked on for being small. Three boys got to her yesterday. As she described it, one was tall and skinny, one was fat, and the other had bulging out eyeballs. The fat one's name is Kirk. She retaliated by calling him "Kirkland." I thought that was amusing...my little Costco brand conscious diva. I told her to call him "Kirkland toilet paper."
That's not helping, I know.
Aside from having to have my kids to school at 7:30 am and being so tired that my eyeballs feel like they are made from sandpaper, in the past two weeks I have :
1) bounced TEN (10) checks
2) just gotten my water cut off for a bill that was 1 day late
Those are the worst things. A few others that contribute to my spiral are:
toenails that are too long, hair that desperately needs a highlight, a purse that is part trash can and part coupon/receipt holder, clothes that have been wet in the washer for two days, the towel rack in the upstairs bathroom that is still on the back of the toilet after being yanked out of the wall by Diva 2 in her attempt to get a fashion accessory (i.e. band-aid) out of the bathroom cabinet, a gaping hole in the wall of the laundry room from the door being flung open too many times, a screen door with no screen, eight piles of laundry that needs to be done...you get the picture.
If I could just get over my punch drunk hangover from being so tired I might make some headway in some of these areas.
And if I could only make some money...that would help.
Divas started school the other day. One in kindergarten, the other in third grade. Third grade diva just transferred to a new school so she could be with her sister. She is a bit unhappy because it's only been two days and she is already being picked on for being small. Three boys got to her yesterday. As she described it, one was tall and skinny, one was fat, and the other had bulging out eyeballs. The fat one's name is Kirk. She retaliated by calling him "Kirkland." I thought that was amusing...my little Costco brand conscious diva. I told her to call him "Kirkland toilet paper."
That's not helping, I know.
Aside from having to have my kids to school at 7:30 am and being so tired that my eyeballs feel like they are made from sandpaper, in the past two weeks I have :
1) bounced TEN (10) checks
2) just gotten my water cut off for a bill that was 1 day late
Those are the worst things. A few others that contribute to my spiral are:
toenails that are too long, hair that desperately needs a highlight, a purse that is part trash can and part coupon/receipt holder, clothes that have been wet in the washer for two days, the towel rack in the upstairs bathroom that is still on the back of the toilet after being yanked out of the wall by Diva 2 in her attempt to get a fashion accessory (i.e. band-aid) out of the bathroom cabinet, a gaping hole in the wall of the laundry room from the door being flung open too many times, a screen door with no screen, eight piles of laundry that needs to be done...you get the picture.
If I could just get over my punch drunk hangover from being so tired I might make some headway in some of these areas.
And if I could only make some money...that would help.
Friday, July 25, 2008
The Queen Strikes again
You'd think I'd learn. It keeps happening over and over again and I just keep taking it and taking it.
Queen was out of town for a week and it was so deliciously quiet. Then she comes back, just in time for girls night out (why did I include her in this group of my friends?). To begin with, husband, on his day off, forgets to get the kids. Of course, I am blamed for this because I neglected to tell him what time to get the kids. God forbid that he can pick up a phone and call me. I guess he was too busy sleeping on his day off. That got us off to a late start. Then it all began. Queen tells me I need to do a better job communicating with my husband. That's after driving the divas all over God's green earth, getting food, fixing food, washing clothes, referring fights, paying bills, trying to work at my job, etc. etc. Oh, and husband does not have a cell phone, nor does he answer the phone at home. So the communication thing gets a bit challenging.
Then we are out with the girls and everytime I say something she makes a goofy face and imitates me. And on the way home, she criticizes Hilda's driving and the route that she choose to take. And she just keeps hammering and hammering on it.
I just can't stand it. I get home (of course divas are still up) and she calls and accuses me of being antogonistic. I accuse her of being mean and bossy. We hang up on each other. And don't talk for two weeks.
It's over, and she's back in the fold, but at arms length. And there she will stay. I've learned my lesson for the hundredth time.
Queen was out of town for a week and it was so deliciously quiet. Then she comes back, just in time for girls night out (why did I include her in this group of my friends?). To begin with, husband, on his day off, forgets to get the kids. Of course, I am blamed for this because I neglected to tell him what time to get the kids. God forbid that he can pick up a phone and call me. I guess he was too busy sleeping on his day off. That got us off to a late start. Then it all began. Queen tells me I need to do a better job communicating with my husband. That's after driving the divas all over God's green earth, getting food, fixing food, washing clothes, referring fights, paying bills, trying to work at my job, etc. etc. Oh, and husband does not have a cell phone, nor does he answer the phone at home. So the communication thing gets a bit challenging.
Then we are out with the girls and everytime I say something she makes a goofy face and imitates me. And on the way home, she criticizes Hilda's driving and the route that she choose to take. And she just keeps hammering and hammering on it.
I just can't stand it. I get home (of course divas are still up) and she calls and accuses me of being antogonistic. I accuse her of being mean and bossy. We hang up on each other. And don't talk for two weeks.
It's over, and she's back in the fold, but at arms length. And there she will stay. I've learned my lesson for the hundredth time.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
All Quiet on The Home Front
Wow. It's been really quiet around the house. Divas are at the grandparents for a week and I don't know what to do with myself except for drink vodka and sleep.
The cleaning lady came yesterday and did a halfway job, but at least their are no little fingers to mess it all up. No papers lying about, beds are made, toys are in baskets. Amazing. For the last day and a half, I just sit and look, and listen to the silence of my former life (w/o kids).
Of course, husband wants sex so I give in so the week can be pleasant, and then he gets a raging stomach ache. I knew he was going to try to blame it on my cooking, but I feel fine so it has to be all the beers he drank or something else (grumpy disposition?).
I sat outside this morning, listened to the birds and the traffic on the boulevard, and felt thankful. I am thankful for my two beautiful divas who are two hours away, and for the little slice of quiet I am going to enjoy this week.
I am going to sleep, but I will hold off on the vodka drinking 'til at least tomorrow when I am going to the (oh my God!) MOVIES!!!!
The cleaning lady came yesterday and did a halfway job, but at least their are no little fingers to mess it all up. No papers lying about, beds are made, toys are in baskets. Amazing. For the last day and a half, I just sit and look, and listen to the silence of my former life (w/o kids).
Of course, husband wants sex so I give in so the week can be pleasant, and then he gets a raging stomach ache. I knew he was going to try to blame it on my cooking, but I feel fine so it has to be all the beers he drank or something else (grumpy disposition?).
I sat outside this morning, listened to the birds and the traffic on the boulevard, and felt thankful. I am thankful for my two beautiful divas who are two hours away, and for the little slice of quiet I am going to enjoy this week.
I am going to sleep, but I will hold off on the vodka drinking 'til at least tomorrow when I am going to the (oh my God!) MOVIES!!!!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
The empty roll
Why? What is the law of nature that governs the emptiness of the toilet paper roll every single time I go to the bathroom in my house? It doesn't matter if it's the upstairs bathroom, the hall bathroom or my bathroom...they are always empty or just have a square or two on them. There has to be a Murphy's Law type thing that relates to this phenomenon.
If anyone knows, please tell me.
If anyone knows, please tell me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
