HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Part II

So the rest of the day wasn't any better than the first part of the day.

I worked somewhat in sweats all day, no shower, no massage, no one to bring me lunch. I got so hungry but I decided to not eat because of the great dinner my husband planned for me.

Bipolar Sis in law 2 said she would babysit with the help of Sis in Law 1, but Sis in Law 1 had to go to yoga so she would come over later. Sis in law 2 arrives. Asks where the ice cream is, ate half of the container, then laid down in the Zero Gravity recliner, covered herself with a blanket and went to sleep.

Wait! I thought she was babysitting?

Kids are fighting, punching, kicking and yelling. Husband comes home a bit early (20 minutes) because it's my birthday. HE goes and takes a shower. I referee. Sis in law sleeps. After Husband's shower, he retreats to the bathroom for a 30 minute sojurn with reading material. I am still referee-ing. After he comes out, I notice that he has dressed up. He is wearing a polo, rumpled shorts, his jolly roger belt, and flip flops. Guess we're not going anywhere fancy.

At this point, I showered. Put on my nice jeans, a new shirt, dangly earrings, and did my make-up, hair, etc. I want to look nice on my own birthday.

"Where are we going?" Husband asks. HUH? I am planning this?

I guess so. I decide on a restaurant on John's Island, about 30 minutes away. Heard it was good.

Sis in Law 2 is still sleeping so I call Sis in Law 1 and tell her to come over because no one is going to watch these kids. We wait til she finishes yoga, goes home to shower, and comes over.

I open my gifts. A painting, a watch (I love both), and a vintage cookie tin. Also, a recycled teddy bear and a note from the girls.

We leave and drive to the restaurant. Husband skulks behind while I go in an get a table. It was a table in the middle of the restaurant where I got the waiter's butt in my plate while he is taking an order from the table next to us. The table wobbles. I have to hold my foot on the bottom to keep it steady all night. Food was good. Bill comes, I pay.

We go home. Husband is "bloated." He goes back into the bathroom for an extended time.

I get in bed and read my book "Bitter Harvest" about a wife who poisons her husband and burns down her house. I go to sleep before husband comes to bed.

It's over. Can't wait 'til next year!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Part I

This year it's gonna be a real throw down.

All the family is out of town enjoying the labor day holiday. I am stuck here, in town, working on Diva 1's science project. Here are all the great ways I am celebrating the day before my birthday and the actual birthday day itself (birthdays get dragged out around our house, that is, everyone's except mine).

Day before birthday:

1. Was called a "sour bitch" before noon because husband was still in bed at 11:00 am and I said "when are you getting up, lazybones?"

2. We had a power outage for 5 hours in the morning because of a storm. Husband says"I am so used to utilities being turned off around here, it probably did get cut off". He makes me get up and call the power company.

3. I did 5 loads of laundry, and ironed at least 10 shirts and pants.

4. I made everyone breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, grits, coffee and juice.

5. Helped Diva 1's with her science project, "My Summer" essay, reading log, and spelling.

6. Planted a tea olive tree in the back yard.

7. Got into the vodka at 4:45 pm.

8. No one planned dinner, so husband grilled hot dogs (at least they were kosher and we had dijon mustard). Sis in Law 1 and 2 come over. Sis in Law 2 is bipolar and she didn't eat because she is fasting and praying to release the devil that lives on her back. So she just watched.

9. Diva 1 gets a fever.

10. Both Diva 1 & 2 come downstairs at 2:22 am and can't sleep. I go upstairs with them and sleep with both of them in a 7/8 bed (a bit bigger than a single, but smaller than a double.)

Birthday Day

1. Diva 1 still has a fever so she stays home, which means I have to stay home.

2. Diva 2 cries all the way to school because she is scared to walk in by herself.

3. Dog throws up in the living room and Diva 1 steps in it.

4. I am working on my 3rd load of laundry and trying to work at my business which supports this whole family.

4. The Happy Birthdays wishes I've gotten so far today are from the guy I bought some life insurance from and the car dealer where I got my car (pre-recorded).

Diva 1 is home and digging into everything and it's only 12:45 pm. I am sure the rest of the day will bring some other interesting stuff which I will post in Part II.

Queen of the Better Offer

Maybe I am overreacting.

I don't even know what to say about this one.

Today is Diva Two's Birthday. Tried to figure out all week what to do for the actual "day," we're having a big kiddie party tomorrow but always like to do a family thing on the "day." And, like a lot of people all of a sudden, we're on a budget. This economy, and all my slow pay clients have forced us to stretch a bit and keep the ol' wallet closed as much as we can. So, we're not going out and having dinner, drinking cheap chianti, and spending a bunch of money.

Sis-in-law offered to have a birthday cookout at her house for Diva Two. "That might work," I thought. So we went with the idea. Then it changed to having it at our house. It's just easier to do it right there so I don't have to carry a bunch of stuff over to her house. Plus, she never has ketchup or mustard or anything for the hamburgers. And if she does, it's expired.

So the cookout is all planned for this evening, just me and hubby, Diva One and Two, Hilda and her son, and Sis-in-law. I found out this morning that other Sis-in-law isn't coming -- she's bi-polar and can't handle it (Of course she didn't call me, Mother-in-Law had to tell me). That's ok, I was nervous about that anyway. A small family gathering...which is good, because when a few more family members are added with a bit of wine, it gets out of control (more about that later).

Here's the kicker, Sis-in-Law One, the one who offered to do this WHOLE THING AT HER HOUSE in the first place, the one who bothered me ALL WEEK about what we were going to do, called me and told me she was going out for drinks after work and wouldn't be over til 8 or 9 pm.

8 OR 9 PM?????????? FOR A 5 YEAR OLD "FAMILY" BIRTHDAY PARTY. HER NIECE?????
What the.....????????????????

Hmmm, apparently she got a better offer.

I am so mad and of course when she told me I was caught off guard and didn't respond correctly. Now I am thinking, "LISTEN, you &^$#(& ! Are you kidding me? This was your idea from the get-go! You were helping me plan this and get it together?! Now you're going out for drinks and you're gonna show up late, eat food, drink, boss everyone around and leave.

And basically, this happens once a week when she doesn't have dinner and comes over, lets herself in our house with the key she has, and sees what we're having for dinner and then conveniently asks to stay. (What if I was cooking naked?)

Now, I know I have some boundary issues. I should just cut it off from the beginning. I need to take that key away, tell her what's what, and be done with it. But, being the little bulldog that she is, she would get all up in my face. Me, being the non-confrontational person that I am, I try to avoid that. Seriously though, I need to figure out some behavior modification because this ticks me off every time and yet it happens over and over.

Maybe I can read this later and realize how stupid it is, and quit letting it happen.

Once more, Happy Birthday Diva Two!!